I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize