East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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