And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
