I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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