I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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