community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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