I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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