you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
