do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
