I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
