I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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