I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
