i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
