I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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