I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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