I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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