We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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