I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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