Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
please come you make the beer taste better
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
