You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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