Just fell off a train. Bad.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
