so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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