We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
