I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The air was thick with penises
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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