hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
