we're chasing vodka with high fives
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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