the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
