some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
