He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
