PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
