i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
