And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
