dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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