yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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