And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
