have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need to calm my uterus...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
