Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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