Im at strip club and am horny
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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