If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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