walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
