i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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