All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
