did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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