sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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