Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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