what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
