yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize