It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
