I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
