Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
