My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
