Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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