loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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