Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Are my feet made of real feet?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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