He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
