if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i believe in u and ur pee
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