therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
