And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
