I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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