dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
