I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
