I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
