it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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