when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
